I still havn't found what I am looking for

"I still havn't found what I am looking for" is one of my favourite songs.

i do believe that everyone is constantly searching, for truth/ love/ contentment/ self worth/ peace/spiritual enlightenment. Bono supposedly wrote it to reflect on his, perhaps struggling, belief in Christianity. But, the beauty of this song is that you can interprete anyway you want to. See it in your own light.

To me, this song serves as a reminder for a couple of things:

i) sometimes what you are looking for may not be what you really need/want. You may think you want a successful career, a nice continental car, an unrevocable faith, a lovely home with 3 kids, a life-partner -- but the search becomes so consuming that by the time you are nearly done, you wonder what the heck are you looking for, why the heck did you start in the first place.

ii) contentment is the one of the hardest thing to find.

So to all my friends out there, I wish you the wisdom to know what you should look for, and that you will find it.

I still havn't found what I am looking for
- by U2

I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you

I have run I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night I was cold as a stone
I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds and you
Loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame Of my shame
You know I believed it

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

Of Love and Whats Not

I am writing this for a good friend.



I wanted to let her know that unrequited love does hurt so much. It makes you feel like there is something wrong with you. that you are not enough, for him or for anyone else. It makes you wonder why, in spite of all your logic/education/independence, you are so stupid, pining for someone that does not care the same two hoots about you. Wonder if happy endings only happen in sad korean/japanese tv series.



but the good thing was that as I was writing this, i cannot recall the times when I felt the pangs of unrequited love (i'm sure wini/clara can help jolt my memory). You see, i know i definitely have been on the crap end of things before -- just that it fades away with time. you forget things that are not nice to remember or that are not worth wasting the last bit of your memory on. You forget the way your chest hurts so much you realise that that was what they mean by a breaking heart.



so, there is light at the end of the tunnel. you just have to remember (and dare) to keep walking towards it.

One more year to go!!

Before I am back in Singapore!!! (oh well it's actually 52 weeks and 2 days/ 366 days to be exact)

I met this guy....

I met this guy who has inspired me to pick up chinese all over again... Yang Chong Wei.

He was one of the contestants on Taiwan's Idol competition, and if not for the fact that he withdrew from the competition (he lied about his age in the registration form) which was splashed all over the news, i may not have gotten to know about him.

They reported about him for 2-3 days non stop. He is THAT popular here. In one of the news channel, they did a cross comparision between his singing and that of the original artistes' -- and boy, he is good.

My chinese is really crap. I dont understand much of what he is singing at all, but nevertheless, i can't help but feel goosebumps and a tinge of sadness swallowing me everytime he sings. So now, i am inspired to learn the words to the songs he sang. What a good way to learn chinese huh...

See his performances here:
Bei Pan (by Cao Ge) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsxYMn-IBxE
Rain (by Stephanie Sun) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3-ZMNOeL6M
Xin Bu Liao Jing (have no idea who it's by) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQdiaorSJ_k

ps: wini, i think you will really like him!!

"Must be a female driver"

You know, everytime someone spots another driving badly (think: driving against the flow of traffic, crushing the car boot into the back of parking lot, holding up traffic while doing a U-turn) they always go: "Must be a female driver".

I have seen guys driving badly as well -- and there must be a reason why mens' driving insurance premiums are more expensive compared to womens' right? so why the discrimination!!??!!

Btw Kok Kenji, if you are reading this, see!!! --- my driving aint that bad ooookay?!

Your Driving Is is: 45% Male, 55% Female

According to studies, you drive both like a guy and a girl. This means you're a pretty average driver, with typical quirks. Occasionally you're frustrated and or a little reckless, but that's the exception - not the norm.

ps: What do they mean by driving like a typical girl?

Flowers of the Day

There is this gorgeous flower shop near my place.

The next time I pop by, I will ask if they have flower arrangments lessons.

That should give me something to look forward to during the weekday or something!

Top of the World

Been meaning to post this up for the longest time.

Check out the view of Mount Everest taken from the plane on my way back home from Nepal.

It took me quite some time to spot the snow capped peaks from the plane ... and when i thought i saw it, i couldn't believe my eyes. Had to check with the stewardess.

Absolutely amazing. Makes you feel really small and young in the grand scheme of things.

(the range runs somewhere across the center of the photo... just a tad below the blue horizon)

Virgin Mee Siam on Tuesday Afternoon

You guys would be happy to know that I am now proficent in the art of cooking MEE SIAM!!! Yes, add that to my repetoire of culinary expertise (that plus peanut butter sandwich, spaghetti and japanese curry).

It was a SUCCESS !!!!! My neighbour ravished her 1st bowl and immediately went for seconds. Yes, she may be from Thailand and know nothing about what Mee Siam tastes like but nevertheless, Pamela scores! Woohooo

Before & After

I am a bad bad (scared scared) girl

I killed a cockroach... actually technically speaking, I merely injured it and then flushed it down the toilet. It'd really be useful to have angie around -- she killed a baby cockroach in her car, with her BARE HANDS, WHILE DRIVING! Angie, if u are reading this, you have no idea how much i miss you today! HAhahahha

Blooms by Pam

I am now addicted to flower arrangement. I am so addicted that I am pestering my neighbour to head down to the market with me so i can buy some blooms! (typically i groan at the thought of going to the market with her cos it usually means waking up at 8am on a weekend).

Did the arrangement below for her and my home. It's so martha steeewart!! hehhehheh Looks like all the flower arrangement practice I did for Wini's wedding helped after all (Thank you to the flower Aunty who taught me!)

Chinese Lesson #1

做工 and 工做 are not the same thing.

工做 = ... knowledge worker i guess.. whilst 做工 = involves manual labour ie paving the roads, carrying rice and other veryvery physically demanding jobs

so imagine everyone's suprise when I tell them that I came to taiwan to Zuo Gong.

(they must be thinking "wah this skinny girl got so much strength one ah .. better not bully her" .. hahaha)

The Shopperholic Returns (somewhat)

Items bought today

• Taiwanese Cookies * 4 boxes
• Hairband for Wini (Wini bought hers for NT$200, I bought mine for $150 and i just got another one for her at NT$100!!! we got ripped off!!! SUCKERSSS us all)
• Martha Stewart/Instyle/Real Simple/ Blue Print Magazine (in English)
• An alarm clock and another wall clock
• Lotsa household stuff from the market
• A whole bunch of flowers (no idea what they are called but its darn pretty)
• Vegetables (that I dont eat -ergh-) from a small cherubic little old lady sitting at the corner of a wet market on the floor. She grew the veggies herself and travelled all the way down to Taipei to sell her 2 bags of vegetables. I felt sorry for her while admiring her resilent attitude. If it were me, i'd complain not stop about the distance/heat/no of people and smack myself down in a starbucks cafe.
• 3 pairs of shoes =))))) (to make myself feel less aunty)

Of translations and conversions...

Damn... reading Angela's blog makes me feel compelled to put in more effort into my blog (or at least take more pictures *note to self: bring camera everywhere I go from henceforth).

Oh well, nothing much happened today. I went grocery shopping, tried reading the instructions for contact lense solution/detergent, reading the special offer advertisements, and figure out how much was a packet of indomee in S$ (kennasai, daylight robbery. It's $1 per packet of instant noodles!!). Got a splitting headache from all the English-chinese-english translations and NT$ to S$ conversions computing at pentium 286 speed in my head). Oh I also spent the afternoon working from home -- reading everything i can about the healthcare system in Taiwan.

Yeah -- the shopperholic is now a supermarket ah-soh cum workaholic. & though I live smack in the middle of Taipei's "orchard rd equivalent", till today I have not bought my typical frivilous stash of clothes/shoes/bags/shoes... *gasp* WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! I have recovered!!!!!

My humble abode for the next 15 months

The Adventures of a Banana in Taiwan

Hi, my name is Pam and I am a banana in Taiwan.
We use the term banana on peeps who are yellow on the inside and white on the outside ie: a chinese with westernised packaging.

Ok, I feel like a banana here right now. My command of mandarin language is pathetic -- I can't even operate my hotpot/washing machine/cook instant noodles because everything is in Mandarin. Plus I had no idea that April 5th was Tomb Sweeping Day. In Taiwan, it is a national holiday and families would go to the graves of their ancestors to pay respects. Me? I spent the whole day sleeping/eating/shopping. So I feel kinda crap about me being so nonchalent about my chinese roots.

Anyhow, I thought I'd start blogging about my (mis)adventures in Taiwan. So you guys can have a good laugh! hahaha...